Living a Muppet’s Life

When I was a kid, maybe about 8 or 9 years old, I recall being asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember my answer so vividly it’s as if it was yesterday – a Muppeteer. Take particular notice to the specifics of the profession – not a puppeteer, as I had no use for puppets. Muppets were the only way to go for me and I still love to watch anything the clan of Henson produces. In fact, my love for the Muppets even encouraged me to forward my resume to Henson Productions for employment last fall… clearly, I didn’t get a response. C’est la vie, so they say… I still adore them, now and forever.

This memory makes me wonder many things… the foremost involves Animal and Gonzo in a gondola with Beaker poling them down a channel. But, it also makes me wonder – how the hell did I know what I wanted so clearly at 9 that I can’t possibly figure out at 38? Curious question indeed, and I think I have finally discovered the answer – adulthood. Being a grown up basically sucks. We spend much of our childhood waiting, desperately, to be older so that we can be free to do what we want. Then, we get older… and what do we do?  We begin working for “the man”, telling ourselves our dreams need to be funded, blah blah blah. Well, in part, this isn’t entirely unsound, in theory. But, this grown-up life becomes cloudy and disillusioned by paychecks and cars and rent and having a sofa you’re not embarrassed by.

Add to this cluster of madness the entire last year and a half of my life – I’ve lived in 2 countries in 5 different cities, unemployed, country-less, penniless and homeless. All of my belongings can fit in a couple of suitcases and maybe a giant trash bag… I wasn’t this portable at 18. I cannot deny that there is a certain sense of freedom in not possessing an exorbitant quantity of stuff… and I mean that in every way George Carlin would mean it. I can go anywhere without much hassle and moving, someday, will be a dream…oh, wait – I need to work to make more money to attempt to pursue my dreams… *sigh*.

Few things are more depressing than being a responsible adult. Or, perhaps, this is due to the fact that it took me an obscenely long time to understand what being a responsible adult was. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t careless with anything but silly things like money, my heart, my stuff… ah well, it’s all about learning, right? So, as of now, here I am, sat before this space with all this profound wisdom… yes, I am calling it profound, it makes me feel better. Regardless of the status of said wisdom, I have learned. I have learned that being a grown up can, at times, suck giant donkey balls. But also, with planning, I can again someday be careless and fancy-free… it’s that whole “planning” aspect that gets stuck in my craw… what helps it become un-stuck is knowing that a juicy, fat savings account means play time.

More profound than my grown-up wisdom is my new financial credo – live like a Muppet. Whenever the Muppets needed to raise money, they put on a show. Now that I am working again, I too, am putting on a show to raise money for what I need and want. Simple. In essence, I suppose one could say that simplicity is the key with money and life. But, it sounds far more fun to live like a Muppet… I rather fancy emulating Animal myself (no offense to Kermie).

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